Rick Perry is the Stupidest Person to Have Ever Run for President

Last week Rick Perry, Governor of Texas, decided to drop out of the running for the 2012 Republican Presidential nomination. I can finally say, with full certainty, that Rick Perry is legitimately the stupidest person to have ever seriously run for president. Think about that for a second. Within the last year we’ve seen incredibly fucking dumb people attempt to run for president. Michele Bachmann, Herman Cain, and even Donald Trump ran for president this year alone; Rick Perry is stupider than all of them. Now I’m not talking about silly third-party candidates who have run for president. I’m talking about people who legitimately had a chance to run, debate other candidates, and promote themselves extensively in the mainstream media. Rick Perry is the stupidest person in American history to have ever done this.

In August, the moment Perry entered the race, he was leading the polls. He was the conservatives answer to Obama. One part John Wayne, one part Chuck Norris, and one part Geoge W. Bush Ronald Reagan. 

Really glad I get to use this picture of the Gimper.. Gipper ...Whatever... again.

Then all he had to do was speak and everyone realized how much of an ignorant mother fucker he was.

See what happened there? The numbers go down after he talks to people about things.

I could go on for a long while about how he doesn’t know basic math, geography, or English. But what all I have to do is examine his stance on one issue: pissing on corpses.

That’s right. Rick Perry is not in favor of condemning U.S. soldiers who urinated on dead bodies.

"Obviously, 18-, 19-year-old kids make stupid mistakes all too often. And that's what's occurred here," Perry stated. 

I don’t know about Rick Perry but when I was 18 and 19 I thought that peeing on a person was more than just a mistake. I also knew that pissing on a dead person’s body might be seen as, I don't know, disrespectful. Rick Perry is the man who criticized openly gay people serving in the military, but does not condemn soldiers who desecrate corpses by urinating on them.

Obviously there have been stupid people with brash ideas enter politics before. But I think a statement like that would make even Sarah Palin blush.  What business does this man have being the governor of a state when he believes that urinating on a corpse is teenage mistake? What the hell kind of person could run an entire state who has beliefs this stupid? Which brings me to my next point: fuck Texas.

Several years ago Perry mentioned the possibility of Texas seceding from the Union and there was no backlash from his constituents in Texas for saying something so stupid. I’m from New York and if Governor Cuomo said anything even close to as moronic you better believe his ass would be grass. 

"Hey guys... I really sure hope you all like me."

Good, let Texas secede. A state that produced George W. Bush and Rick Perry is what’s holding America back. This isn’t a political issue – it’s an intelligence one. All you have to do is do a Google search of either of these two idiots and it’ll be saturated with videos of them making dumbass remarks. It’s an embarrassment. I don’t want people from other countries seeing that shit, and making America as a whole look bad.

So Rick Perry, have fun going back to being the leader of the great state of Texas. Just keep in mind that the rest of the country now knows that you’re a moron.