Jay-Z Is An Asshole

Earlier this week I posted a link to Facebook from the Huffington Post. The article was entitled "16 Celebrities You Never Knew Were Vegan" (however, when you get to the article it is re-titled "15 Vegan Celebrities Who've Given Up Animal Products For a Healthier Lifestyle" because the Huffington Post doesn't care about numbers or consistency).

Thank you Huffington Post. As if I didn't feel bad enough about my existence in the first place, I appreciate the reminder that celebrities have sacrificed much more than I have by not eating meat. One day I aspire to be just like Russel Brand.

Asshat.

I posted the link to my Facebook and said, "Someone needs to change this headline to '16 Smug Millionaires Whose Private Chef's Prepare Them Vegan Meals'"

I thought it was funny because all the people listed in the article are multi-millionaires and easily have access to some of the top vegan chef's in the world. So for these pompous, rich celebrities veganism isn't so much of a sacrifice as it is a curious experiment into a different diet that will help them keep weight off.

Most vegans and vegetarians would agree that most of these celebrities, save for a few, don't really give a shit about animal rights or environmental protection and are instead becoming vegan for health reasons or to make themselves look altruistic when really they could care less.

So you can imagine my pleasure/displeasure when it was announced Jay-Z is going vegan.

Yes, Jay-Z - crusader of animal rights and environmental preservation. This is the same dude who's latest album features lyrics like, "After that government cheese, we eating steak" and "Parades down Flatbush, confetti on my fur" (by the way these lyrics are from the same song).

Jay-Z pictured wearing a very practical and sensible fur hat

I don't know when veganism became the latest trend for celebrities, but it needs to end. Now, let me be clear - I don't have a problem with vegans/vegetarians. It's your body - you have the right to put into it what you want. I have a problem with two things: 1) celebrities taking up causes for their own public relations purposes 2) people being vegan/vegetarian for "health reasons"

Celebrities have often taken up causes for the sole purpose of getting public support. I don't understand what it is with celebrities and their causes. Sure, sometimes it's genuine. But when you have millions of dollars, you have to give back in some way. Or else you just look like an asshole.

Speaking of assholes, people who claim to be vegan or vegetarian and are doing it for "health" reasons are selfish idiots, losers, and cowards.

I appreciate vegans and vegetarians because I believe many of them are truly concerned about the horrors of factory farming and the environmental degradation it causes. So when I hear someone is cutting meat and dairy out of their diet for "health" reasons, I know they're just trying to make themselves look good. Most of the healthiest ranked diets contain servings of fish and lean meat like chicken, anyway. So really how healthy are these people trying to be?

Who cares? They're selfish idiots who want to add the vegan/vegetarian label to themselves so they can sound hip and cool like these dipshit celebrities.

Thousands of Jay-Z fans will be scrambling to grocery stores in the coming weeks, buying kale, tofu, soy beans, etc. They'll spend hours researching and preparing recipes that they never would have tried if Jay-Z didn't announce his breakthrough veganism. Sure, maybe it'll be good that people will be consuming less.

But do you know what Jay-Z is going to be doing? Sitting on his ass while his private chefs create vegan creations worth thousands of dollars per plate.

Ditch this bullshit. If you're going vegan, do it for the right reasons. Not for your "health" or because some celebrity is doing it. Do it because you give a shit, and if you don't, don't bother.