Wednesday, March 23, 2011

List of Countries to Bomb (Besides Libya)



As you all know, the United States along with the NATO allies have begun an airstrike on Libya due to Muammar Gaddafi’s attacks on his country’s rebellion. Way to go guys. But why stop there? I took a lot of time to consider what Sarah Palin or Dick Cheney might do in this situation, since they are true American heroes.  Here’s a list of other countries and reasons why they should be bombed.


North Korea
The Kim Jong-il regime is responsible for one of the most totalitarian states in history. Along with the repression of human rights, Kim Jong-il has been attempting a nuclear program for over a decade, presumably for the purpose of attacking South Korea and other allies of the United States. For this, they should be bombed.

South Korea
South Korea is right next to North Korea on the map. Although they are a U.S. ally, you can never be too careful, especially when it comes to proximity. Let’s bomb them.

Vietnam
The United States withdrew troops from Vietnam in the early 1970’s. Why stop now? Why let them think they won a war 40 years ago? Let’s go back and bomb them!

Cambodia
Something happened here, right? Let’s bomb ‘em.

Czech Republic
Bomb it.

Canada
What makes them think its okay for them to account for all the maple syrup distribution in the world? It’s not okay, Canada, and I don’t think America needs to take any of your shit any longer. Bomb ‘em.

Prussia
Prussia is one letter away from being “Russia” and Russia is bad. Bomb it.

Mongolia
Do you feel safe at night knowing that Genghis Khan could pillage your neighborhood at any second? I sure as hell don’t. Let’s bomb it.

Ancient Rome
Hedonism and lechery are both deplorable and strictly forbidden by the Bible. Bomb them.

Portugal
Portugal is just like Spain… only it’s worthless. Bomb’s away!

Zimbabwe
Have we bombed them yet? If we haven’t, we certainly should.

The Bahamas
Oh, yeah, everyone out on the beach having a good time on vacation—BOOM YOU’RE BOMBED.

France
Shiteaters.

Ireland
Traitors.

Tajikistan
Ta-jeck-i-JUST GET BOMBED ALREADY.

India
Why not?

Rwanda
I hated that movie, “Hotel Rwanda.”

Vanuatu
Some island nation you’ve never heard of. Nobody will miss these people. Bomb ‘em.

Burkina Faso
Stupid name.

Belgium
You like waffles? Well how do you like being TOAST. YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT, YOU’RE BOMBED.

That about covers it. If anyone can think of any other country that should be bombed, let me know.

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