It’s no secret that I love singer/actress Zooey Deschanel. That’s why when I found out she was starring in an upcoming television show and that the trailer was readily available online I immediately stopped everything to watch.
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| It's about how she rolls around in a ball all day... or something. |
The trailer of “New Girl” opens with Zooey giving an inspired little speech to an unknown audience.
Turns out that Zooey walked in on her significant other having an affair.
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| This guy? Really? |
So the audience already knows that this show is complete bullshit. Someone is cheating on Zooey Deschanel? Really? This is less believable than a show about anthropomorphic dinosaurs living in a quasi-modern society that takes place during the Triassic period.
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| Wait... what? |
Zooey is forced to find a new place to live; this is where the classic sitcom formula kicks into gear. Zooey has to live with – THREE DUDES! YEAH!
From left to right you have an excellent formulaic trio for primetime television: the token black guy, the handsome douche/idiot, and the rugged everyman with whom Zooey’s character will inevitably get with.
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| "...the fuck is Zooey Deschanel?" |
The next three minutes reveal that Zooey is suffering from the post-breakup blues. It’s up to Zooey’s three male roommates to get her back into the game. Add in another female character without any explanation and the realization that when push-comes-shove her male roommates are actually charmed by Zooey and you have yourself a trailer for a show that will premiere after “Glee” in the fall.
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| "...why am I here?" |
A few questions:
Why are you doing this Zooey?
If there’s anything I hate to see in television and film, it’s typecasting. Dear Hollywood – Zooey is a good actress. I understand she was fantastic in 500 Days of Summer, but why have her repeat this quirky-indie-dream queen role over and over again? It’d be like if Ellen Page played a pregnant woman over and over again. Eventually she’d get sick of it, and throw up everywhere.
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| And then just keep eating. |
How can this show be good?
The question I am asking here isn’t “Will this show be good?” I’m asking “how? How can this show be good? The whole premise of the show revolves around taking an original actress like Zooey Deschanel and throwing her into a completely unoriginal plot. It doesn’t make any sense. The creators of this show actually had the audacity to title it “New Girl”, as if there’s something new about it. Why not just name the show “Roommates” or “Opposite Sex”?
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| Turns out they were already taken. |
Can we just end TV right now?
This is a serious question. Why bother with TV anymore? Or at the very least can we just end TV sitcoms for the love of humanity? I can’t take it anymore. Every year it’s some new bullshit that gets worse and worse and more generic than it was yesterday. TV as we know it is dead. Steve Carrell has left “The Office” and they’ve replaced Charlie Sheen with Ashton Kutcher on “Two and a Half Men” (it’s not like anyone watched that show for any other reason besides the hope of watching Charlie Sheen collapse on set). What has the world come to when Zooey Deschanel is starring in a show that would have normally starred Jennifer Aniston or Julia Louise-Dreyfuss?
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| "GODDAMMIT WOMEN!" |
Zooey is a pleasure to watch. She is also a pleasure to listen to, and the trailer for “New Girl” condescendingly points out how she likes to sing, which is clearly pandering to the post-“Glee” audience. It’s this unfortunate audience tapping that drives me crazy about primetime TV. Nobody cares about substance; it’s all about ratings.
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| I want to hate you so badly. I just can't. |
I don't know about you, but I'm not going to take this lying down. I’ve figured out a concept for a show that will feature all of Zooey’s talents and not be terrible. Hope it works…
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| Classic. |
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