Events That Would Make the Olympics Worth Watching

So the 2012 Summer Olympics are right around the corner. That's right, it's that time again for people who like shitty sports and nationalism to come together and PARTY!

Too bad the Olympics suck.

These are some games that would make the Olympics badass and worth watching.

Otter Boxing
Otter vs. Otter - mono y mono otters will battle for the right to the sacred pond. First otter that wins gets the secret to Tililak Valley and can defeat evil weasel King Badra.

Naked Clay Boulder Throwing
Opponents get naked, rub clay all over their bodies, and then throw boulders at each other. There are no teams.

Baseball without the Pitcher
Baseball without the pitcher. Ya know, just standin' around and stuff.

Diving Out of Planes
If not planes, helicopters

Hot Dog Eating Contest
Self explanatory.

Potato Gun Wars
Teams of 5 shoot each other with potatoes. Teams with the least amount of potatoes on them win.

Checkers While Being Screamed at by Some Guy
Regular game of Checkers only the players are screamed at by some guy the whole time.

Robot Fighting/Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots
Hey they made a movie about this! OR if they don't have real robots you could just play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em robots.

Words With Friends
HA! I like this game.

That about covers it. The Olympics suck.