President Obama - Making America Saferer

A Day in the Life of President Obama: December 31^st, 2011

After a whole entire year of our government doing absolutely nothing to benefit any Americans anywhere, I think it’s a good idea for me to sign into law the National Defense Authorization Act. Although this act allows the government to indefinitely detain United States citizens on American soil, it did pass the House and Senate with bipartisan support, so therefore I should support it as well.

It’s really important I sign this today, especially today. The generation who was born during 1980-1995, the same generation that will be ruling society when the Baby Boomers die, won’t really give a shit, especially on New Year’s Eve when they’re too worried about drinking themselves into a coma. When they wake up they’ll be too hung over to care that their civil liberties have been destroyed and everything between the fourth and seventh amendment in the constitution is almost completely meaningless. And hey, they’re my voting base. Gotta give my constituents what they want.

 Despite my best efforts in saying that the provision to detain citizens is unnecessary I decided to pass this law anyway. Good thing that a majority of our voting demographic is blind to the fact the American government is owned and controlled by energy companies, the military industrial complex, and the mainstream media. 

Ultimately it doesn’t matter how many freedoms I’ve taken away. It doesn’t matter that I’ve completely ignored campaign promises like revisiting the Patriot Act and closing Guantanamo Bay. I was President when Bin Laden was killed, so that means I’m doing the job that anyone whom was elected into my position should have done. 

I’m just doing what Senator McCarthy… I mean Senator McCain would do if he were president.

Sincerely,

President Obama